One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong

I lit a thin green candle to make you jealous of me,
But the room just filled up with mosquitoes, they heard that my body was free
Then I took the dust of a long sleepless night and I put it in your little shoe 
And then I confess that I tortured the dress that you wore for the world to look through

I showed my heart to the doctor. He said I'd just have to quit
Then he wrote himself a prescription, your name was mentioned in it 
Then he locked himself in a library shelf with the details of our honeymoon
And I hear from the nurse that he's gotten much worse and his practice is all in a ruin

I heard of a saint who had loved you, I studied all night in his school 
He taught that the duty of lovers is to tarnish the golden rule 
And just when I was sure that his teachings were pure he drowned himself in the pool
His body is gone but back here on the lawn his spirit continues to drool

An Eskimo showed me a movie he'd recently taken of you 
The poor man could hardly stop shivering, his lips and his fingers were blue
I suppose that he froze when the wind tore off your clothes 
And I guess he just never got warm, but you stand there so nice in your blizzard of ice 
Oh please let me come into the storm