Enemy

I need advice it's true
but I won't hear it from you
I don't remember when 
you last cared for the things I did

I wish I could believe
apply all the sides you've seen
or you could be the only one 
who knows the truth of me

am I the ugly one
it's easy to see past
all of the kindness that you've offered me 
it doesn't last

it's just a thought I've had
if I could show you how
I came to think this way 
maybe you'd understand me now

sometimes our enemies
are closer than we think
sometimes the ones we trust 
may have to give up listening

I wish it were the same
as it is in my mind
I'd lie to learn a thing or two
give me a reason why

why am I not ashamed
while I am standing still
you want to move in me like you did before 
but I've had my fill

you say your time has changed 
that you have faced defeat 
we might be older now 
but is it changing anything

it could be in a way
we've learned to carry well
oh how I wish I could 
remove this doubt I feel somehow

I want the best for you
so I won't look your way
maybe the clouds will clear 
and I'll be seeing you someday

I wish it were the same
as it is in my mind
I am lighter on my feet 
when I've left some things behind